Fake Game 1: Seahawks @ Broncos — All Sizzle, No Steak

Are you ready for some football?!  Great, just wait one more month, and it will be here.  Today’s NFL is roughly 50% legitimate football and 50% vapid hype.  And August is the boom season for the latter.  The fact that Goddell & Co. treat preseason games as actual football events that, say, season ticket holders must attend (or at least pay admission), is ridiculous.  The only thing more ridiculous is that fans buy into it!  I bet Mile High Stadium will be packed tonight, and TV ratings will be strong from the PNW to the greater Denver area.  Preseason football is the guy at the party with the popped collar and the guitar playing tortured John Mayer covers.  You think to yourself nobody could possibly want to be in the presence of such a trite fellow, and yet he’s got three good-looking women by his side, singing along with him.  It only reinforces his bad behavior.

I mean, if you want to know how meaningless preseason football is, just look at last year’s Seahawks-Broncos game: The ‘Hawks harried Peyton Manning, forced turnovers, scored a defensive touchdown, moved the ball efficiently on offense, and jumped out to an early lead, before cruising to a 30-point blowout victory.  Such a game tells us absolutely nothing about what would happen if the two teams played when it actually mattered, and … Wait, bad example.  Scratch that.

So I don’t recommend it, but if you must watch the game tonight, here are some things to consider:

  • Do Terrelle Pryor or B.J. Daniels have a shot at supplanting Tarvaris Jackson as clipboard holder #1?
  • Is Christine Michael ready to regain the top spot on the depth chart at the “Guy Everybody Says Can Play Who Never Actually Plays” position or is Tharold Simon going to beat him out for it?
  • Are the Seahawks going to use a right tackle this season, or are they going to invent a new formation that eliminates the position altogether?
  • What Canadian team is going to sign Keith Price?
  • Is Mike Morgan the greatest ever Seahawks player who shares a name with an ex-Mariner?*

Enjoy.

*The answer is no.  1980s linebacker Michael Jackson is the greatest ever Seahawks player to share a name with an ex-Mariner.